Winter blues?

The start of a new year can be a cause of optimism with 365 days of possibility and adventure ahead. But this year, with so much uncertainty and turbulence in the world, winter may cause you to feel unsure and anxious about the way ahead. The grey skies and the long nights may reflect your own feelings of sadness and doubt. Winter can make us feel uncomfortable.

Whether your IVF journey was recent or a while ago, winter’s sense of unease can tap into feelings of hopelessness and isolation as we have time and space to reflect on the family we were unable to have or expand. As others look forward, you may find yourself feeling trapped in familiar patterns of thought and uneasy emotions.

Yet for all the greyness and dark, winter can be a time of rest and insight especially when we’re forced to be indoors more. Winter offers us a sense of stillness and an invitation to slow down mirroring the hibernation taking place in nature. The unknown future without children can feel scary but retreating in winter can provide a pause to take stock and consider the next.

If this time of year is bringing you back to a place of grief about the past or uncertainty about the future, then seek out ways to be kind to yourself and allow the emotions to be present without judgement. If you can’t be the upbeat person full of New Year’s cheer and resolutions, then give yourself space and time as you acknowledge this.

Then take a few moments to think about the small things that give you joy and start to bring them into your everyday.  Consider this over the next week. Maybe your joy is a comforting cup of hot chocolate, a warming bath, or curling up with a good book. One of my joys in life are flowers and in winter buying myself a small bunch of seasonal flowers or looking out for snowdrops on a winter walk can lift my spirits. No matter how small the moment of joy you find, it can create an inner spark that can warm and brighten up the gloomiest of days.

As you begin to bring more of this into your everyday also allow time to revel in the rest and restoration winter can bring. Take time to pause and reflect. Treasure can be discovered in the darkest of winter days. 

If you would like support as you explore life beyond IVF then for the months of January and February Elm and Bloom are offering a discount on their packages.  Lockdown can bring up difficult emotions, but support is there for you across this period of time.  See the Services page for more details.