Is the road ahead unclear?

Is the road ahead unclear?

At this time of year, mornings can be foggy.  It’s hard to make out familiar shapes and landmarks.  The pale grey sky extends downwards enveloping everything that covers the surface of the ground.  Whilst fog can be atmospheric, it can be unnerving as everything on the horizon is hidden.

Future uncertain?

The future can often feel shrouded in mist especially during the challenging times we’re currently living in.  It’s difficult to see and plan.  If you’re experiencing the end of an IVF cycle or you’re struggling with infertility, the future can feel particularly scary and uncertain and the path ahead completely hidden.  Life seems to stop in its tracks.  Do you question what will be your purpose if you are not going to have children?  What will your identity be if you are not going to be a parent? Or if you are unable to expand your family unit, what will life be like having an only child?

However thick the fog that masks the future and no matter how long it seems to last, the mists will eventually lift.  Take heart from nature – all becomes visible once again as foggy skies begin to clear.  If the end of your fertility journey has left you feeling bewildered, be assured that you too can begin to shift the uncertainty and anxiety about your future.  You can look forward with excitement rather than with sadness, dread and foreboding.

Take stock of where you are

If you feel you’re in the middle of fog, take time to find the familiar in the place where you are.  Seek out comfort; find moments of joy.  

Although uncertainty about the future may exist, taking stock of where you are will help you to feel more confident about the present and enable you to take small steps into the future. 

Time for reflection

Find time and space to think about all the wonderful things that have gone well in your life to this point -things you have done well, projects you’re proud of, and things that you are good at.  View them across a specific timeline, whether that’s over the last five, ten, or twenty years.  It could be a cake you successfully baked last week, a friend you helped last year, or a work promotion in the past.  Begin to write these down in a journal or on a blank piece of paper.  You could explore areas of your life such as adventures, home, work, friends, and family. If any negative thoughts or difficult emotions about your IVF experience and fertility journey arise or you feel you cannot find anything good in life to explore then re-focus on a moment of joy and release the negativity.  Don’t judge yourself.

Building confidence

Be creative and let yourself go!  Draw a representation of your achievement, use different writing fonts and colours, cut out images from a magazine, or find your own photos that remind you of a time in the past.  When you’ve finished, take time to observe your list, your page of inspiration.  How do you feel when you reflect on you and your activities and successes?  What links can you find across the page that reveal your skills and talents?  What excites you about your list?  Are there ideas developing for future plans?

Take time to revel in what you have written down and congratulate yourself for all that you are, and all that you have achieved!

The path ahead will slowly start to reveal itself so don’t be discouraged. The fog will lift and one step at a time you will begin to move forwards.

SPECIAL OFFER

If you would like support as you explore life beyond IVF then for the months of February and March, Elm and Bloom are offering a discount on their packages. Lockdown can bring up difficult emotions, but support is there for you across this period of time. See the Services page for more details.