CELEBRATING INTERNATIONAL WOMEN’S DAY AS A CHILD FREE WOMAN
CELEBRATING WHAT IT MEANS TO BE STRONG AS A CHILD FREE WOMAN
There is much in the media and on social media today marking International Women’s Day to acknowledge and celebrate the social, economic, cultural, and political achievements of women. You may be conscious of this day; it may pass you by unnoticed. But how can you find strength as a child free woman?
How are you marking International Women’s Day?
There is a richness in the many events taking place and the comments being made especially in these difficult times of uncertainty and chaos. This day offers us a chance to reflect and consider how we can play our part in the actions being encouraged or take your lead from the amazing women being highlighted.
What does this mean for child free women?
With all that is being celebrated this day you may feel overwhelmed especially if it causes you to question your place in the world as a woman who doesn’t have children. What does it mean to be a child free woman on this International Women’s Day?
Certainly, in the past there was a stigma around not having children. I remember two wonderful great aunts of mine who didn’t have children of their own. They are no longer alive, and I never had the opportunity to ask them about their childlessness so I can’t imagine what they felt about their situation, but I have no doubt that coming from a large family there must have been times when not being a parent was difficult for them. I can relate to this feeling.
Finding strong role models
But both my aunts were an inspiration to me and their lives were far from apologetic for their child free status. One received an MBE during her career and travelled the world and the other co-managed a successful business. I realise their quiet and gentle strength has helped me in my life both consciously and unconsciously. Role models are important for us whether they be in the spotlight or women we have known in our own lives.
Self esteem issues
As child free women we can face specific self-esteem issues. It’s easy to doubt yourself if you haven’t been able to conceive and to cover over the pain and grief with busy lives. To compensate for not being a parent we can feel we should be strong women to compensate. We can be slow to show emotion for fear it’s a sign of weakness, and we hide ourselves in busyness afraid to confront our disappointment and feelings of being unfulfilled.
How can you be a strong child free woman?
Being strong doesn’t have to mean being fierce or an incredible childless warrior. You don’t have to compare yourself to those around you who have children and try to compete in other ways or to overcompensate for your child free status.
Being strong is about being compassionate, kind, and able to forgive and this starts with yourself. There’s strength in taking positive action to locate contentment and stillness.
Strength is about recognising we don’t always have to strive to live our best life especially on social media and there is strength in switching off your phone when the latest post reminds you that you’re not a parent.
Being a strong woman is also about recognising our emotions and letting them be especially when sadness or anger is triggered. Strength is about finding peace with where life’s dance has taken you even if this means you find yourself child less after IVF.
A note of encouragement
So, on this day I encourage you to seek out the role models starting with yourself and recognise your amazing achievements whatever they may be and despite not being a parent. Don’t deny the pain of the past but instead find peace in the present and freedom in the future. And remember you are an incredible child free woman!
Happy International Women’s Day!
Elm and Bloom are here to help
If you have connected with anything in this blog but you feel you would like to find out more about thriving beyond IVF or talk to someone who shares your child free status be assured that Elm and Bloom is here for you. Through talks, newsletters, Services, workshops and retreats there are a number of ways to connect and to find your strength as a child free woman. So why not get in touch….