“Alone” or “All one” this Easter?
“Alone” or “All one” this Easter?
The Easter holidays can be a time of family gatherings and reunion with friends. Easter egg hunts and family meals even during these restricted times can be difficult if you find yourself without the children you had hoped for and can bring into sharp relief your sadness and loss.
The ending of a fertility journey can feel abrupt if IVF hasn’t brought you the family that you had hoped for and being confronted by family or the children of friends this Easter can be bitter sweet as this is highlighted. It can be a lonely time even in a crowd especially if those around you have children. Do these times make you feel isolated and alone or is it possible to feel “all one”?
The meaning behind the word “alone”
The definition of the word “alone” is rooted in Middle English and means “to be found apart from or exclusive of others”. Being childless or without the opportunity to expand your family unit can definitely feel like this. However, the word alone can also mean “all one”, to be complete in oneself. To be content in yourself and in your childless state is empowering and instils confidence. By standing “all one” you can feel stable, grounded, and purposeful.
How to be “all one”
It might not always feel easy to be so strong in oneself especially if you are not looking forward to family or friend get togethers this Easter holiday so here are some ways in which you can feel “all one” in the midst of the crowds:-
Boost your mood - before joining a family or friends Zoom or in person Easter gathering boost your mood beforehand so that you feel confident and strong during your time together. Read a favourite passage from a book or find an empowering quote (there are lots on this website); take a few minutes to boogie to your favourite music; look at some photos that remind you of a time when you felt confident and happy; spend time with your pet for a boost of unconditional love. These actions will help you to join any family or friends get togethers with poise and self-assurance and will ensure that you can fully enjoy time with other’s children without upset.
Plan for awkward questions - think about how you can best respond to any potential questions about your child free status or what’s going on in your life at the moment. Anticipate and practice a response so that awkward questions do not disturb you.
Reward yourself - after a family or friends gathering instead of focusing on your lack of childlessness, remember all the wonderful abundance you have as a child free person over the holidays – time to spend reading a book or listening to your favourite music, time to go for a walk and spend time in nature - whatever brings you joy. Plan time over the holidays to indulge in these activities and give yourself permission for some Easter treats so that you can feel complete in yourself.
Although public holidays have the potential to make us feel lonely as we confront our childless state, much like the wonderful daffodils and tulips that provide cheer at this time of year we can also take great joy in being “all one”. Instead of feeling alone, choose to bloom this Easter!