Finding clarity in the overwhelm of self help books
HOW TO BECOME YOUR OWN CHAMPION
Is it possible to find clarity amongst the self-help offered in books, podcasts, and on social media? Is the search for support overwhelming in the sea of these voices? Is it possible to be your own champion and discover your inner guide?
Trawling through my local bookshop recently I realised how many self-help books there are out there promising numerous ways you can discover true happiness and navigate life successfully. It never ceases to amaze me how many voices there are in a sea of podcasts who share their observations and comments on life. With the many social media posts that I scroll through it is very easy to feel overwhelmed by all this rich advice and self-help ideas and it can be difficult to see the wood for the trees to pinpoint what you actually need. There is so much noise out there that I often find myself in danger of constantly searching for the “Holy Grail” of direction in my life and I miss the sage advice already contained in the many beautiful books already on my bookshelf, in the podcasts I’ve already downloaded, or the inspiring Insta account I’ve discovered. I scan and don’t truly read, I hear but don’t always listen.
When I was coming through unsuccessful IVF I felt so at sea I didn’t know what direction to go next. So much of my sense of self had been blown apart by not becoming a parent that I felt I needed support, but I didn’t know which way to turn. All I knew was I felt I needed a metaphorical ladder to climb out of the unwanted place I was in. I’m not sure I even knew what I was searching for - voices of comfort, a blueprint for my child-less life, ways to cope with my grief, or all of the above? I was easily swayed and was blown in many different directions but without much obvious support which compounded my sense of overwhelm.
A walk on an incredibly windy day recently, I was struck by the noise of all the trees whose branches were being swayed about wildly, and I was taken aback by the powerful sound this all created. It’s as if the whole forest was trying to speak out, each tree with its own signature sound but lost in the mass. It’s a beautiful sound but the wind reminded me of times of chaos in our lives when everything seems to be rolling around in our mind. As we try to reach out for support the voices we hear much like the sound of the trees can be overwhelming as we struggle to find that nugget of golden knowledge that will help us move forwards.
There are so many self help gurus offering support but I have found if we practice and are able to connect to our inner voice we can become our own true champion rather than hoping that someone else can do this for us. If we take the time to sift through the many voices out there we can discern what will support us the most. Writing down a quote that has particularly cut through the white noise to deliver its clear message can help. Jotting ideas on my phone to view at times of uncertainty or finding space in my day to process what I’ve heard in a podcast can direct my thoughts in a positive way. And trusting that often our own “inner-tuition” offers us the best advice and can determine what we need and when. Developing and nourishing this connection with ourselves can take practice but the more we do this the more we can feel confident in being our own inner champion.
So for now, I have decided not to buy the latest self-help book and spend hours listening to yet another podcast in the quest to find the next gem I didn’t know I needed. I am going to follow authors I trust and whose wisdom I feel aligned to, discover new wonders through recommendations, and squeeze out all the insights contained in the amazing podcasts I have downloaded and the books I already own on my bookshelves. I don’t have all the answers and never will have, but I have a lifetime ahead of me to continue to evolve and learn. I don’t need to know everything at this point – just what will help me to move forwards in life one step at a time.
If you find yourself feeling overwhelmed not knowing which way to go for support after unsuccessful IVF and you are looking for a ladder to help you out of the mire, then Elm and Bloom are here to provide the support you need. Check out our website to find the help that best serves you at this time.